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Calling In

Calling In

How to Start Making Change with Those You'd Rather Cancel

From a pioneering Black feminist and MacArthur “Genius” Fellow, an urgent and exhilarating memoir-manifesto-handbook about how to rein in the excesses of cancel culture so we can truly communicate and solve problems together.

Product Code: 9562
ISBN: 9781982190798
Format: Hardback
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Pages: 288
Published Date: 02/04/2025
Availability:In stock
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Price: $28.99
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In 1979, Loretta Ross was a single mother who’d had to drop out of Howard University. She was working at Washington, DC’s Rape Crisis Center when she got a letter from a man in prison saying he wanted to learn how to not be a rapist anymore. At first, she was furious. As a survivor of sexual violence, she wanted to write back pouring out her rage. But instead, she made a different choice, a choice to reject the response her trauma was pushing her towards, a choice that set her on the path towards developing a philosophy that would come to guide her whole career: rather than calling people out, try to call even your unlikeliest allies in. Hold them accountable—but do so with love.

Calling In is at once a handbook, a manifesto, and a memoir—because the power of Loretta Ross’s message comes from who she is and what she’s lived through. She’s a Black woman who’s deprogrammed white supremacists, a survivor who’s taught convicted rapists the principles of feminism. With stories from her five remarkable decades in activism, she vividly illustrates why calling people in—inviting them into conversation instead of conflict by focusing on your shared values over a desire for punishment—is the more strategic choice if you want to make real change. And she shows you how to do so, whether in the workplace, on a college campus, or in your living room.

Courageous, awe-inspiring, and blisteringly authentic, Calling In is a practical new solution from one of our country’s most extraordinary change-makers—one anyone can learn to use to transform frustrating and divisive conflicts that stand in the way of real connection with the people in your life.


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“Calling in is far more crucial to human survival than calling out, and Loretta Ross has written a personal and political book that proves it! There is no one whose experience I would trust more.” —Gloria Steinem

“This book is the ultimate antidote to cancel culture. It’s a master class in constructive confrontation, and Loretta Ross is the ideal teacher. Drawing on her extensive experience talking people out of hate, she offers profound insights about how to get through to others—and maintain your own dignity along the way. Calling In should be required reading for every student, activist, and social media user.” —Adam Grant, author of Think Again and host of the podcast Re:Thinking

“A survival guide for American progressives. If you are on the left and want to make lasting change in our world (and sleep better at night), please read this book. Loretta Ross doesn't just ‘take’ the high road; she rappels her way up a sheer rock face to get there, owning her mistakes all along the way. Then she helps bring a series of rapists and former KKK members along with her. (Yes, really!)” —Amanda Ripley, author of High Conflict

“What a refreshing and necessary look at the problematic culture of cancelling, as opposed to the more promising culture of calling in. Loretta Ross has offered us an escape hatch here, with wisdom, experience, and integrity. We would all do well to follow her lead.” —Abigail Disney, activist and philanthropist

"A rich and compelling narrative. Courageous, practi­cal and ultimately, very hopeful." —BookPage (Starred Review)

"With humor and grace, Ross... offers advice on how to find harmony among those with diametrically opposing viewpoints." —Booklist
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Review and Rate this Item

In 1979, Loretta Ross was a single mother who’d had to drop out of Howard University. She was working at Washington, DC’s Rape Crisis Center when she got a letter from a man in prison saying he wanted to learn how to not be a rapist anymore. At first, she was furious. As a survivor of sexual violence, she wanted to write back pouring out her rage. But instead, she made a different choice, a choice to reject the response her trauma was pushing her towards, a choice that set her on the path towards developing a philosophy that would come to guide her whole career: rather than calling people out, try to call even your unlikeliest allies in. Hold them accountable—but do so with love.

Calling In is at once a handbook, a manifesto, and a memoir—because the power of Loretta Ross’s message comes from who she is and what she’s lived through. She’s a Black woman who’s deprogrammed white supremacists, a survivor who’s taught convicted rapists the principles of feminism. With stories from her five remarkable decades in activism, she vividly illustrates why calling people in—inviting them into conversation instead of conflict by focusing on your shared values over a desire for punishment—is the more strategic choice if you want to make real change. And she shows you how to do so, whether in the workplace, on a college campus, or in your living room.

Courageous, awe-inspiring, and blisteringly authentic, Calling In is a practical new solution from one of our country’s most extraordinary change-makers—one anyone can learn to use to transform frustrating and divisive conflicts that stand in the way of real connection with the people in your life.


Bookmark and Share

“Calling in is far more crucial to human survival than calling out, and Loretta Ross has written a personal and political book that proves it! There is no one whose experience I would trust more.” —Gloria Steinem

“This book is the ultimate antidote to cancel culture. It’s a master class in constructive confrontation, and Loretta Ross is the ideal teacher. Drawing on her extensive experience talking people out of hate, she offers profound insights about how to get through to others—and maintain your own dignity along the way. Calling In should be required reading for every student, activist, and social media user.” —Adam Grant, author of Think Again and host of the podcast Re:Thinking

“A survival guide for American progressives. If you are on the left and want to make lasting change in our world (and sleep better at night), please read this book. Loretta Ross doesn't just ‘take’ the high road; she rappels her way up a sheer rock face to get there, owning her mistakes all along the way. Then she helps bring a series of rapists and former KKK members along with her. (Yes, really!)” —Amanda Ripley, author of High Conflict

“What a refreshing and necessary look at the problematic culture of cancelling, as opposed to the more promising culture of calling in. Loretta Ross has offered us an escape hatch here, with wisdom, experience, and integrity. We would all do well to follow her lead.” —Abigail Disney, activist and philanthropist

"A rich and compelling narrative. Courageous, practi­cal and ultimately, very hopeful." —BookPage (Starred Review)

"With humor and grace, Ross... offers advice on how to find harmony among those with diametrically opposing viewpoints." —Booklist
Be the first to submit a review on this product!
Review and Rate this Item

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